Ascend Digitally have announced a very gross game in which you fight an evil mutant poo down a toilet bowl. No, Really. Allow me to introduce you to “The Attack of the Evil Poop: Not a crappy game!”.
We get a lot of press releases into the FingerGuns email boxes and I read them all. Every. Single. One. We don’t publish the vast majority of them (we just don’t have the time) but for 2018, I’ve made a New Year’s resolution to write up a news piece on a random press release I would normally pass on as often as possible. Imagine my surprise when this one got picked…
The Attack of the Evil Poop: Not a crappy game! is being developed by a single person – Alejandro Navarro Hojman, a Professor of Videogame Design and Digital Animation (at an unnamed place, might I add) from Chile – who develops games under the company name Ascend Digitally. This one guy is doing everything from code to design to music to press releases on his own and to be honest, this game looks much better than you’d expect for a one person development.
In the game, you fight an evil poo that has different stengths and weaknesses depending on what you’ve eaten. The press release puts it like this:
“Do you imagine, that every time we go to the toilet, our body would talk to us and would tell us: “You are not feeding me correctly!”, right? Well, in fact, it does, but we don’t listen to it, from now on, diplomacy, patience, and sympathy are gone! Your body is on a strike and it won’t be the one who will continue talking to you…You will have to deal directly with its subordinates!
Understand that? No, me neither. Looking the the press release details, there’s some more of this craziness but you might want to stop reading now if you get easily queasy…
The main goal is to survive the many and various attacks from these little disgusting enemies, before they finish all your toilet paper rolls or before your girlfriend enter the toilet and discovers your dark secret. With an environment almost completely destructible, a store served by a little mouse who will supply you with items and weapons in exchanged for golden corns and a meals menu from which your next enemy will depend on.
Wow. Golden corns? As in sweetcorn in the poo? Grim. Grim. Grim. Anyway, Alejandro is taking to IndieGoGo to try and crowd-source funding to finish the game (a link to which you can find here) with an achievable goal of $9,500. If you like what you see, head over there and drop him some cash. The game is scheduled to release on PC in Q1 2018 but might make it to tablets and Linux later in the year depending on how well the finding campaign goes.
Alejandro finished off the press release with this quote;
“I hope people will enjoy this game as much as I have done meanwhile I was creating it, laughing a lot at the foolish things that appear at this game. I think we need more humor and the fact of laughing at these very simple things, make us to be nearer and humanize us. After all, who hasn’t ever been through an embarrassing moment related to this?”
Alejandro. Buddy. No. I have never been in an embrassing situation where I’ve had to hit a mutant poo with a toilet brush. No.
Damn. I wish I had chosen a different New Years Resolution…