Raising 4 boys all under the age of 9 means putting up with a lot of toilet humour. Every time someone breaks wind, there’s a palpable air of excitement about who’s going to start giggling first. If I had a penny for every time my 4 year old had told me a ‘Knock Knock’ joke that ended with him just shouting the word “POOO” at me, which he finds immeasurably funny, I’d have enough to send him to boarding school forever. One of the funniest things they’ve ever watched was DanTDM playing a game about pooping on people off the roof of a building. Literal tears in their eyes. And so, when I scrolled through the ‘New Releases’ section of the PlayStation Store and the game ‘Poop Slinger’ appeared having made it to the EU last week, demands were made. “Please Daddy. We’ll be good. I promise we’ll never be naughty again. Can we please have Poop Slinger? Plllllleeeeeeeaaaaasssseeeee??”. I caved like single ply recycled toilet roll. I truly wish I hadn’t.
Poop Slinger is a game about throwing poo at people. That’s it. There’s no explanation as to why you would do this but flinging chunks of cack at people is, literally and figuratively, the name of the game. The main aspect of this title see’s you looking at a scene and in control of a target crosshair you move with the Dualshock 4 thumb stick. You move the crosshair around and when you pull the trigger, you fire a piece of poop in that direction. Unsuspecting people move left and right across the screen and you’re awarded points for hitting them anywhere on their body with some excrement. On occasion, the unsuspecting victims will stop walking and turn towards you and if you hit them while they’re facing in your direction, you get bonus points (sooo much Yikes). Some pedestrians move faster than others as well as there being harder to hit targets like sea gulls that fly quickly across the screen which award you with a higher points score if you manage to smear them in poo. The further a victim is away from you also indicates what score they will reap, the further away, the higher the score.
Of course, it would be too easy to just let you pelt everyone in peat to your heart’s content so Poop Slinger comes with some restrictions. There’s a heat bar which fills then slowly empties when you fire off some excrement. If you pew off poo too quickly, the heat bar will fill completely and you’re then prevented from firing until the bar cools down completely.
As you earn points, you also earn money. This cash can be spent on unlocking new Slings like rapid fire, sniper rifle or shotgun-esque poop projectors, different crosshairs or different coloured poo to fire. You can also buy mods which make things easier like a better range on your sling (which reduces the downward arc of your fired faecal matter), a better cool down which allows you to fire off some Number Two’s more regularly and a torch which lights up dark areas. Other weaponry and coloured poop shades are locked behind progressive targets like total number of eliminations too, which might encourage you to keep playing. Maybe.
Somehow, developers Diggidy have managed to squeeze out a handful of different game modes for this incredibly simple premise. You’re initially provided with one scene, a town, and one game mode, Objective. The game mode allows you to shoot the s**t for around 2 minutes before sending out a “High Value Target” which pumps out red smoke. Hitting this HVT will give you a small points boost. The 2 other base mode’s include a TP level, in which a roll of toilet paper regularly falls from the sky which, if not shot with poo before it hits the ground, ends the game there, and survival, which adds additional time to your play time with each elimination. Both of these additional modes and new scenes (including a park, an airport which is for some unknown reason in the dark and a busy city intersection) are locked behind a points total which needs to be unlocked cumulatively over time.
The issue here is that each new mode and scene are more difficult than the last and don’t really enable the ability to earn higher scores. Unlocking all the weaponry to try them out seems like the main draw of this game, beyond the cheap gag of chucking crap at people, and to do so you’re going to need to get higher scores to earn higher cash. By making each new unlockable level less rewarding, it kind of forces the player to keep replaying the initial scene and game mode to earn cash more quickly. The gap between unlocks seems unnecessarily long too, especially when the game isn’t fun at all.
And that isn’t just a gripe from a 33 year old man who’s reviewing a game called “Poop Slinger”. That’s a complaint my brood of toilet humour obsessed kids had too. It was funny for them at first. When you hit a passing pedestrian, they occasionally trigger a sound bite like “I’ve got poop in my hair”, “You got it in my mouth” and “Why would you do this?” but after half an hour of play, we’d heard every quote the game had to offer and the shallowness of this game really kicked in. One the gimmick had worn thin, Poop Slinger might as well be a repetitive paintball simulator and not a very imaginative one at that. Within the hour, all 4 of them were bored of it and wanted to play Power Rangers instead.
The saving grace for Poop Slinger is the Zombies DLC mode that comes complete with the PS4 version. In this mode, zombies move towards you instead of across the screen and the aim is to shoot them before they reach you because if they do, you’re run ends. Zombies spawn from in a number of lanes and move at different speeds towards you, so this mode can get quite frantic as you defeat wave after wave of the cartoony undead. It’s like a first person version of Plant’s VS Zombies, but less strategic.
If you’ve got kids like mine who enjoy a good fart joke, Poop Slinger will provide half an hour of cheap giggles and little else. The art style is simplistic, the gimmick wears thin very quickly and the game play is repetitive, bland and, dare I say it, boring. It’s almost cliché to call a game called ‘Poop Slinger’ a total pile of crap, but here we are…
Poop Slinger is available now on PS4 (review version) and PC.
Disclaimer: In order to complete this review we purchased a copy of the game. For our full review policy, please go here.
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