Since we started FNGR GNS back in May 2017, I’ve had the displeasure to play and review some real stinkers. I’ve described 2 games – Firefighters: Airport Fire Department & Little Adventure on the Prairie – as some of the “worst games I’ve ever played”. Today, I add another name to that pile of steaming garbage with Super Kids Racing, a game so broken, so poorly designed and so utterly devoid of fun that it should probably be listed as a crime under the Geneva Conventions.
Let’s start with the title. Super Kids Racing. At least one word in that title is the truth. This is a racing game. It is, however, anything but “super” and for a game that’s aimed at Children, it contains some of the most infuriating design choices I’ve ever seen in a single turgid package.
Here’s a list of things this game gets wrong;
- The Menu system is entirely unintuitive, especially for children. The icons are navigated with the thumb sticks where they move an off yellow colour over which ever white button is active. This is incredibly difficult to see at times. The “Yellow” active button always starts in the top left corner of the screen and if you press any button on the menu, the “yellow” returns to the top left corner again, meaning you’ve got to repress through all the buttons again.
- On another menu, the “yellow” is replaced with white that navigates through brown buttons but sometimes changes to red for no reason, meaning you’re not ever sure which button you’re actually hovering over.
- Some vehicles are so large that they entirely obscure the players view of the track.
- Most cars handle like shopping trolleys with a dodgy wheel, randomly twitching left and right and sometimes flip entirely without warning.
- On most of the race tracks, the same texture is repeated from beginning to end. On long stretches of road, you can see the copy and paste job for miles.
- There’s ridiculous pop in throughout the game. On one track, barriers that block a run off lane appear AFTER you’ve hit them. On the same track, trees along the side of the track inexplicably transform into white puffs of smoke as you drive past them.
- On a few of the tracks, you can bump over the guard rails and you can drive around outside of the track area. The game doesn’t pick you up and return you to the track at any point (so “kid” friendly, eh?).
- You can manually respawn on the track with the press of a button but 50% of the time, it places your car looking the wrong way on the track.
- There’s no “You’re going the wrong way” warning in the game. Get respawned on the track the wrong way and the first thing you’ll know about it is when cars come directly at you.
- Visually, the texture quality of the tracks is on par with early N64 games.
- The frame rate often dips to the standard of a “Not responding” PowerPoint presentation.
- The AI of other racers is atrocious, following a set path no matter what happens and if you manage to push them off the track, they’ll just continue to race off road rather than return to the track.
- There’s a wide selection of vehicles on offer but the art styles of each “set” don’t match one another. It’s a hodgepodge of Hot Wheels meets Sugar Rush.
- The track design themselves are bland and unnecessarily large. There’s a straight on one track that takes 45 seconds to drive along. 45 seconds of straight road. Picard_facepalm.gif
- The cringe worthy soundtrack to the game sounds like it should be accompanying a Youtuber opening blind bags or lucky eggs. The songs are also randomly played so you could be driving on one of the 2 snow levels in Super Kids Racing while listening to a Caribbean beach inspired track complete with kettle drums.
- There’s no multiplayer modes at all. No split screen. No online multiplayer.
The most nefarious aspect of Super Kids Racing is that it pitches itself as a kids game but mistakes “of desperately low quality” for “suitable for children”. Sure, it’s colourful and almost sickeningly bright but none of that makes up for the litany of technical issues which mean that kids are more likely to be left with a headache than a smile on their face. Neither of my 5 year old boys – those same boys that completed Knack 2 and got 100% completion on LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2 without assistance – could navigate the menu’s to start a race without assistance and when I did set them up on a race up, they quickly wanted to turn it off because they’d get caught on the environment or get beached on a barrier. My 8 year old son just laughed at it before saying “nah, you’re okay”. The official description of Super Kids Racing says “This game will give you chance to make your kids happy with your happiness” which aptly sums up the amount of care and attention that was put into this game. Super Kids Racing is a car crash that isn’t “suitable for kids and families alike” but rather more suitable for careering into a skip full of trash where it belongs. If you’re looking for a racer suitable for kids on PS4, give Super Kids Racing a wide berth and go for Beach Buggy Racing, Bears Can’t Drift or even the lacklustre Coffin Dodgers instead. All are vastly superior than this.
We’ve a pretty strict review scale at Finger Guns which means I’ve got to award Super Kids Racing with a 1/10 score (because, technically, it does run. Poorly as it does) but don’t let that fool you. This is quite possibly the worst game I’ve ever played on PlayStation 4 and contender for the worst game I’ve ever played.
Super Kids Racing is available now on PS4 (reviewed on standard PS4), PC and Mobile platforms.
Developer: Yash Future Tech
Publisher: Yash Future Tech
Disclaimer: In order to complete this review, we purchased a copy of the game. Please see our review policy for more information.