My Name Is Mayo Review – Crap Tap

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After a year delay, My Name Is Mayo has finally made its way to the EU PSN store and “the easiest platinum game ever” can’t even get that right.

Am I missing something? Is tapping on a jar of mayonnaise the done thing in parts of the world? Do people walk through Tesco and drum their fingers along the Hellman’s? Google seems to say no but, here we are, with a game centered around just that.

My Name Is Mayo is a clicker game. If you’ve yet to play a clicker game, here’s a description – you click and in the majority of them ,that’s all you do. Click, click, click. Click until your fingers hurt. In this game, you click on a jar of mayonnaise. But…why.gif? Honestly, I have no idea. If it’s absurdist humour, like the brand of humour used by I Am Bread, it’s so subtle it might as well not exist. What we’re left with is a game that asks you to press the X button 10,000 times and that’s it. It’s coma inducingly boring.

My Name Is Mayo does at least try (unsuccessfully, I need to add) to some variety to the monotony. As you click the X button, you’re given awards. Clicking on these awards in the menu gives the jar of mayo a costume. These range from a bra and panties to a banana suit and many others too. Unfortunately, these don’t make the game any more interesting. Clicking on a jar of mayo dressed as a Potato doesn’t feel any more enjoyable than clicking on a jar of mayo disguised as a jar of catsup. You’re still just clicking. And for what? We’ll after clicking the jar 10,000 times you can open the jar to uncover one of the most anti-climactic endings since your parents walked in on you while masterbating.

I don’t dislike clicker games. I find some of them interesting and often therapeutic but I’ve been struggling to find the reason why My Name Is Mayo exists at all. And then I Googled it. “World’s fastest Platinum trophy” and “Easiest Platinum Ever” are the titles this game has garnered since its US release and you can see why. It’ll take a maximum of half an hour to blast through this game’s trophy list so you can see why it’s so popular with trophy hunters. The issue? It can’t even do this right. The game glitched, closed and failed to award me with the trophy for clicking on that damned jar for the 8,000th time. If I ever did want to Platinum trophy this game, I’d have to delete the save and re-click that jar for 8,000 more times. That’s 18,000 clicks more than I ever wanted to spend on My Name Is Mayo.

How irritating

I’ve seen My Name Is Mayo described as “anti-art” and that it’s “paradoxically affirming the artistic merits of [gaming] in a way that few other games ever have.” and honestly, I have no words to describe how much I disagree with those statements. My Name Is Mayo doesn’t do anything well and the one thing it was supposed to be good for, an easy Platinum trophy, it failed at. It might try to tell stories through the description of its “awards” but they’re not meaningful or interesting. It just leaves you with a thumb ache and the the feeling like you’ve just been robbed of 99 pence.

 

My Name is Mayo is available now on PSVita and PS4 (review version).

Disclaimer: In order to complete this review, we purchased a copy of the game. Who knows why. For more information on our review policy, please go here.

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