BREAKING: Pluto is a planet. DEAL.

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The sad reality of Pluto’s existence has been QUASHED. QUASHED I TELL THEE. 

It’s been confirmed today that Pluto is in fact, a planet. Destroying any notion those utter hacks at NASA have any idea what they’re actually doing. The proof is below, provided to us from Nosebleed Interactive;

Andreas Firnigl, Managing Director SLASH designer at Nosebleed Interactive had this to say;

“Pluto has five moons. If you believe the International Astronomical Union, then they should be called dwarf planet moons. What do hundreds of international astrophysics experts and PHD graduates know. Pluto is a planet!”

Neil Broadhead, Communications Manager at Wired Productions, who do video games stuff also chimed in on this particular revelation for some reason;

“Pluto is – and always has been – a planet, and a huge part of our solar system since its discovery in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh. Its heart shaped expression, first seen from across the solar system on July 13th 2015, made us fall in love with Pluto all over again. Long distance relationships do work! Whether it’s 4.4bn km or 7.4bn km away, Pluto has a place in our hearts, and now a place in our game: Vostok Inc.”

While we’re here, we should probably discuss Vostok Inc, a new game coming to Nintendo’s Switch console, where you play as a corrupt yuppie in twin-stick shooter ‘without a conscience’. Basically, become the game allows you to virtually become stinking rich and probably visit Pluto a few times to decide where you’re gonna drop a Starbucks.

Vostok Inc is coming to Nintendo Switch before the end of the year.

1 Comment
  1. […] Nintendo Switch owners will get Pluto as an exclusive planet (because it IS a planet). […]

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